Walking and Holding Hands

It always seems romantic, but logistically, it fucking blows.

First, walking speeds vary. You don’t want to feel you are being pulled along like a stubborn dog on a wrist-leash.

Second, holding hands is only acceptable while standing still or sitting down. You can’t be actively moving AND clutching onto each other. It doesn’t work, and it is not even a sustainable activity long term.

Do you think you are going to hold hands for the rest of your life?

Third, people’s hand sizes vary and not everyone’s hands fit together well. So then you have someone’s bony, ill-shaped digits gnarled and intertwined with your knuckles. Wrong.

Last, they probably have fecal matter on their palms, or rancid piss on their phalanges.

So, there’s that too.

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